Finding Beauty In A World of Gray

Whoa. It's been a while since I've written a blog post. This time of year is so bleak; I get swept up in it and spend too much time dreaming of warmer days rather than living in the moment. January and February are admittedly my least favorite months. It seems like the world has no color, the sun seldom shines, and days spent outside are some kind of faraway dream.

This part of winter just sucks.

But... there's also something about it that makes us think of bigger things. Fantasize about warmer days. There is this hope that comes in the spring, when the world starts to thaw and bloom and breathe.

I've been completely lost in my own thoughts lately, to the point that when I'm driving I've completely passed my destination, I've spent almost an hour wandering the grocery store only to leave with one thing (wine, usually), and today I accidentally maced myself. Yeah. That actually happened.

Life is so funny, how it unfolds itself to us. I remember being in 12th grade English class, with everyone talking excitedly about graduation and college. One week early in the year, the guidance counselor set up a desk outside the door and called us out one by one, to talk about college plans, what we wanted to major in, what we wanted to do with our future.

I had no clue. I knew I wanted to go to Ohio State. Major? Yeah right. Absolutely no idea. It seemed like everyone else knew... they wanted to be a teacher, or a physical therapist, or an attorney. I felt like some kind of freak, like I was the only one who didn't know.

But life unfolded for me the way it was supposed to, and after a wild few years of bartending after college, then a miserable few years of a desk job following that, I am where I'm supposed to be. I found my way. And we all do somehow. We just have to trust our instincts, keep moving forward, keep doing what feels right in the moment. In the end it will lead us where we are supposed to be.

Finding love seems to be unfolding the same way for me... an unknown journey that differs from everyone else's.

I thought a lot about that while wandering through Three Creeks Metropark today. After weeks of being buried in snow, temperatures warmed up this week, everything started to melt, and once again we could see the grass. Today the weather called for 55 and sunny. My cabin fever was seriously at fever-pitch. Time for one of the mini adventures that I live for in the warmer months.

There's still snow and ice. There's mud everywhere. The landscape is a muted mix of brown and gray. But today the air smelled sweet and the sun felt magical. I started walking with no map, purposely getting lost, and felt like I could breathe again.

I've never dangled my feet off of a dock over a frozen lake. Lately I have these dreams about sitting on the end of a dock with someone, a man. We are dipping our feet in icy water, and the sky above us is just exploding with stars. I have no idea who he is, but in the dream, I am head over heels in love with him.

No one else was braving the muddy and often flooded unpaved trails but me (story of my life haha), and the complete solitude of being the only human being in the woods was energizing. Good thing I wore boots, because the mud was not messing around.

At one point I crossed a bridge, and there was a couple standing on it together. Hugging so tight that you couldn't fit a piece of paper between them. Just looking out at the water, the muddy, gross brown water, and smiling. They matched my thoughts. I wanted that. I wanted to be doing the same thing with someone. I almost asked to take their picture, but felt shy about it and didn't want to seem like a creeper.

I probably stared at this frozen puddle for ten minutes. Good thing no one else was around to call the men in white coats. It just looked like a weird martian world or something. It was beautiful.

Little moments, frozen in time. Kind of like memories.

Finding love has never been my forte. Pretty much any situation that even somewhat resembles a relationship that I get into results in disaster. After this happened a few too many times for my liking, I just gave up on it. I wanted to find myself, my purpose in this random world that we are all living in. No time for anyone else.

I always think back to high school. I swear half of my graduating class married each other. All the people who told the guidance counselor with such affirmation what they wanted to do with their lives, at age 18. They had jobs two months after graduating college, were married a year after that, and had kids a year later. At age 25, so many people were settled into a one-way track that was never going to deviate.

I never wanted that.

But it's funny... Now that I have figured out what I want to be doing, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's the right thing, I want someone to share it with.

I was seeing this guy for a while. I guess that's what it's called. Seeing. (Remember I'm not good at this.) From the very beginning, I felt hesitant to go all-in. Spending time with him was great and he was warming me up to all of these ideas that I had previously locked up and threw away the key. But there was something holding me back.

Turns out there was a very solid reason, a very solid something, causing those feelings... which I found out about months after we had been seeing each other. It was something that made me realize what I was, what I wasn't, and what I probably never would be to him. But after finding that out, and after three days of misery, a steady diet of nothing but wine, and blasting November Rain (it happened in November) on repeat, I sent a text. And we kept on seeing each other.

Sometimes you just have to do what feels good. Even if it doesn't make sense. If it feels good, just go with it. Just be sure to keep an open mind and pay attention.

And again, life has unfolded in the weird, mysterious way it always seems to for me. Because now I have realized that I want more. All of the things I have sworn off in the past: putting all of your faith into one person, opening up to someone unabashedly, letting someone pay for my dinner. I want that. I want a partner in crime. Someone to go on random adventures with, whether that be hikes in the mud or a random trip to Belize. I want someone who I will fight fiercely for, and he will do the same for me. Someone to talk about everything and nothing with. Someone to walk to the edge of the world for. Someone to travel with world with.

Am I jumping on match.com in order to expedite this process immediately? No way. But the fact that my mind is now open to letting someone inside has already made the world even more exciting. Maybe I'll go to the store and find love in the frozen food section. Who knows. I think my mom is even more excited about this idea than I am. We are going on a cruise together in April and she said, "Maybe you will find him on the ship!" That would be awesome. Because I want a story. It's amazing to me that someone could be out there right now, and we are living not knowing that each other exists.

I keep seeing the ice and snow melting as this big metaphoric thing.

Also... the recent passing of Valentine's Day and seeing a romantic love story with my friend Lizzie (we have a Valentine's Day tradition - we spend it together) has only fueled the fire to these feelings. And now spring is coming?? I am completely swept up in the thoughts of a reckless summer love. Even if it ends in disaster. I just want to try. 

There's this song called San Francisco by a band called The Mowgli's, and it starts out like this:

I've been in love with love
And the idea of something
Binding us together
You know that love is strong enough
And I've seen time tell tales 
about that systematic drug
Yeah, that heart that beats as one
It's collectively, unconsciously composed.

That's exactly how I am feeling right now. 25 days until spring, and I could not be more excited about what lies ahead.

Holiday Sale AND Giveaway!

I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying this beautiful snow! And hopefully it doesn't tangle up travel plans too terribly bad. Just wanted to share that I am having both a sale in my Etsy shop AND a giveaway on my Facebook page. The sale is for 20% off of your entire order, and the giveaway is for a beautiful 16 x 20 stretched canvas print of Wanderbloom. So if you want to try to score a free Christmas gift, head on over and tag yourself in the image.

I hope everyone has a happy and blessed Thanksgiving :)

Oregon's Hobbit Trail: A Real Enchanted Forest.

I have been daydreaming about my experience here since the moment I left. The Hobbit Trail, a hidden gem of a hiking trail on the Oregon coast between Florence and Yachats, is a truly magical place: covered by a canopy of trees, blanketed in moss, and completely filled with wonder. As soon as you enter the forest, you feel incredibly small in the presence of something so wondrous. The winding, mossy trail leads you through about a million breathtaking places before spilling out onto an even more breathtaking private beach.

I have a hard time picking a favorite place/activity/experience on the road trip my friend Amber and I took from LA to Portland up the Pacific Coast, but this very well may be it.

Curious about what it feels like to walk through a place that looks like something out of a dream? Come relive the magical journey with me:

The view to the left shortly after entering the forest. This second trail goes to the Heceta Head Lighthouse. I was immediately overwhelmed with the lush surroundings.

The path is soft with things that look like pine needles, and you can barely hear your own footsteps. You immediately feel a sense of being so small in such a magnificent place.

The trail starts to take on the feeling of being inside of a tunnel, where the sides and top are made from plants, trees, and moss.

The entire time you are following the path, you can hear the crashing waves from the ocean.

Moss covers everything. I have never seen so much green in my life.

Trees take on a whole new life with their mossy coverings.

Plants growing recklessly. So beautiful.

After a very gently ascent at the beginning of the trail, you start to descend once you get closer to Hobbit Beach. I was pretty much waiting for a hobbit to come down this staircase after me.

Sunlight peeking through the towering trees.

The path starts to open up, revealing spectacular mossy landscapes.

More light starts to shine onto the trail as you near where the edge of the forest hits the beach.

A crazy, gnarly tree that sits right in the middle of the path.

Very close to the beach, more and more light starts to leak in.

Once the path opens up, you can really explore the forest. We found this spot, where someone had camped the night before. Not a bad view.

There are a couple of ways to get to the beach that we saw... both of which involve jumping into little ditches lined by tree roots and covered with bramble, like a little tunnel. Seriously, where are the hobbits?!

You turn around to see the little hole you just exited from real quick, and it looks like this.

Then you turn to the beach and see this.

And this.

Then you turn to your right and see this.

When you get up close to explore the cliffs, they are completely covered with living little words. There are waterfalls everywhere. The sound is unimaginably beautiful.

I was so sad to leave the beach, but wandering back into this magical forest and walking the trail all over again fixed that pretty quick :)

If you are going to be on the Oregon Coast any time soon, please, do yourself a favor, and stop by this magical place. The hike is super easy and would be great for kids or dogs, and is fairly short... which gives you lots of time to explore. It's kind of tricky to find, so here are some tips:

-The Hobbit Trail is located off of Highway 101 about six miles north of Florence, Oregon.

- The trail head is on the west side of Highway 101. There is a parking pull-out on the east side of the highway, so just park there, cross the road, and you will find it.

-The Carl C. Washburne State Park sign is a great landmark to use. The Hobbit Trail is just south of the sign; you can see the sign from the parking pull out. If you pass the sign in your car heading north, you have gone too far. If you are heading south, you will see the parking pull out on your left shortly after the sign.

-After you take a few steps into the forest, you will see signs for Hobbit Beach and the Heceta Head lighthouse. This means you are in the right place.

My last tip is to bring a camera or at least bring your cell phone so you can take pictures. You will not be disappointed: this place is like a little slice of heaven :)

It's November!

Wow. It really is... and the amount my heat is running all of a sudden proves it. The trees are starting to look bare, there is frost on the grass in the morning, the Hershey's Kiss holiday commercial (where the kisses ring like bells... you know that one) has reared its festive head.

I feel like the days since we got back from our road trip have flown by. I haven't been taking any pictures unfortunately, because either 1) the TSA deemed my camera battery charger to be unsafe in my checked luggage and removed it, or 2) someone working for the TSA or Southwest Airlines helped themselves to a camera battery charger. Lame. I've been too annoyed about it to look into how much a replacement costs. Pretty sure someone stole it. Sometimes I wonder how dishonest people sleep at night.

I've had a massive list of ideas sitting on my studio table since the middle of summer, and this week I pretty much started attacking it. Maybe it's the upcoming holiday season that has me super motivated. Or the fact that this is going to be my first real taste of a holiday rush in my shop; last Christmas it was still a baby with a pretty small inventory... this week I went over 400 items. I'm hoping for absolute madness and nights that I'm up until 4am, printing and packing orders, like one of Santa's elves or something. We will see what happens.

Aside from 9000 photos from the trip, these new prints have been added to my inventory:

"Beware of Artists," featuring a quote that was the subject of an internet hoax, and one I am a huge fan of. Prints available HERE.

"The Fix." Prints available HERE.

"Choose Joy." Prints available HERE.

"Elven Girl." Prints available HERE.

"I Like Cats," an idea that's been in my head forever and modeled after the Le Chat Noir poster :) Prints available HERE.

"Under the Stars," further feeding my map obsession. Prints available HERE.

"Love Them Anyway," a beautiful quote by the amazing Mother Teresa. Prints available HERE.

"Run Wild, My Child," created soon after returning from our road trip. The world is meant to be seen :) Prints available HERE.

"You Are A Soul," a quote often misattributed to C.S. Lewis. I love it. Prints available HERE.

Seriously I don't know what is up with the surge of creative energy but I cannot seem to stop making things and I do not want it to stop! 

Sidenote: is it too soon to start decorating for Christmas? After receiving a genius tip from my friend Amber, I went to Kohl's on Saturday and their Christmas things were 50% off, and of course I had a coupon soooooo things got a little crazy. Seriously. Can I start?

Hope everyone is staying warm and enjoying the fall :)

Post Pacific Coast Road Trip Work Explosion

If I were to sum up the road trip my friend Amber and I took up the Pacific Coast Highway, it would probably crash blogger. I have over 1200 pictures and probably over 12,000 memories and picking favorites? Next to impossible.

To reiterate some things I said in a blog post before we left, which are now even more powerful and true to me: if you have a bucket list, or even one thing you have always wanted to do, do it. Just do it. Don't worry about all the money you could be saving, don't worry about things back home, don't worry about any worries you may be harboring. Tell yourself that you will deal with them when you get home. And when you are doing that one thing you always wanted to do, when you are actually in that one city you always wanted to visit or taking that one trip you always wanted to take, you will realize how small your worries are in the grand scheme of things. Life is about doing, not worrying.

That being said, I would like to share some photos of my favorite places. Well... a few of them anyway. There are maybe a hundred favorite places bookmarked in my head. Among them, Big Sur stands out:

The views were breathtaking. I've never seen the Pacific before and could not believe the beautiful blue green/turquoise water. Also the sound of crashing waves, the breeze, the open views... it was unreal and 1000x more gorgeous than I could have ever expected.

Being a professional wino, I also enjoyed our day visiting wineries in Sonoma. We were also lucky enough to be there during the Sonoma County Harvest fair, which (if you buy tasting tickets) has a huge airplane hangar type thing where pretty much every winery in Somona County has a booth set up and tastings are FREE. AND there were a billion restaurants that had booths set up with free food. It was most likely a 10,000 calorie night. Oh well. Needless to say, wine country was a big hit.

The last place I will share in this post was probably my favorite. Back in August when we were planning out this whole crazy adventure, my friend Amber was checking out things to do in Oregon and said, "They have a hiking trail called the Hobbit Trail!" I was instantly drawn to it and knew we would have to at least try to find it (a lot of the reviews said it was hard to find). Well... we found it. And it looked like a place straight out of Lord of the Rings. And it is going to get its own blog post this week, because anyone driving near it on 101 has to go. Here are a few preliminary photos:

I am putting together a post of the route we took, the places we stopped, maybe give motel recommendations... because this trip is totally doable, for anyone. It will seem overwhelming at first, but don't try to plan it all out. Just get in the car and go. Until then, peace and love and hope all is well :)